Eighth day of Advent: waiting

December 8, 2014 § Leave a comment

I bought a candle for Advent. It’s not a traditional Advent candle set or anything; just a regular candle. It’s tall and cylindrical. The thick wax is green and smells like pine trees. There’s something peaceful about its white flame in my dark room, Christmas lights shining through the window.

I have few words this evening. I had few words this morning and this afternoon, too. I thought if I waited until this evening, I would well up with words to share, but now it’s late and I’m tired and I have few thoughts on Advent today.

I do have this Advent candle, shining steadily beside me.

I want to say something about penitence and faith, words for Advent, but this candle keeps distracting me and I keep thinking about a phone conversation I had with a friend earlier and all the things I have to do tomorrow.

I want to say something about how this is fine; how it’s fine that I can’t find words for tonight, because Advent is about waiting and waiting isn’t about saying things or doing things, it’s about waiting to say or do things, and that’s fine. That’s Advent.

I peer too close to my Advent candle and accidentally snuff it out. It still smells like a forest in my room. I look out the window at the blue and green and red lights on the house across the street. I relight my candle. I like the candle and the Christmas lights along my street. I like this sitting in the silence and in the dark.

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