Lenses of gray

April 26, 2016 § 3 Comments

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.


I suppose it’s a personality quirk, this tendency of mine toward melancholy. In fact, all of the personality tests I’ve ever taken (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, all of those free tests on BuzzFeed) tell me so.

If some people see the world through rose colored glasses, I see the world through lenses of gray.

Where others might find hope, I see a shattered world. Where others might find abundance, I see only what could have been.

Sometimes, this melancholy is warranted. Certainly, there are times when it’s appropriate to grieve, to feel downcast, to be sorrowful. But other times, this grayness can get the best of me.

Other times, I need to remind myself that while, yes, there is much to lament over, there is much to rejoice over too. There is so much goodness in this world. There is so much to give thanks for.

Which is why I’m reminding myself today: If a sacrament is a sign of God’s love in the world, then this life is flush with them.

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It is eating bowlfuls of my grandmother’s tortilla soup, simmered to spicy perfection. It is long walks in a green-canopied neighborhood that smells overwhelmingly like sugar-sweet wisteria. It is planning trips to a ranch in West Texas and a gravel road in Iceland and a lake town in Northern Michigan for a dearest of friend’s wedding. It is being asked to be maid of honor by another close friend.

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It is creamy lattes and bright green matcha tea and sour popsicles in the heat. It is morning sunlight illuminating my room like a sunbeam. It is hot black coffee and the friendly fern growing beside the windowpane. It is warm, shorts-wearing weather. It is looking above a concrete apartment complex to see a sky streaked in lavenders and blues.

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It is Blue Bell ice cream eaten in the starlit sun room of an old yellow-painted house. It is green-sprouting vines growing along red brick walls and making friends with a local barista. It is fresh mint in Earl Grey tea and evenings of hot yoga.

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It is this, all of it. It is a sign.

And it is good.

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§ 3 Responses to Lenses of gray

  • Marybelle Hamilton says:

    Lovely, Elizabeth. But I wish you could see the world as I do, through “pink-colored glasses”. God has given us a mind to sort out the bad and good. We are to worship Him and love each other. What else is there? We are predestined (Presbyterian) and should strive to be as great as we can be. I think you are doing that. Keep struggling with ideas and where they can take you…Lots of love, from one who has known great sadness and much joy, MIMI

    On Tue, Apr 26, 2016 at 9:45 AM, elizabeth hamilton wrote:

    > Elizabeth Hamilton posted: “God saw all that he had made, and it was very > good. I suppose it’s a personality quirk, this tendency of mine toward > melancholy. In fact, all of the personality tests I’ve ever taken > (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, all of those free tests on BuzzFeed) te” >

  • Joyce E Berg says:

    Elizabeth, I needed to be reminded of this today! Thank you! Love,
    Joyce

  • Amanda Rogozinski says:

    I love your examples of happy things…they make me want to go out and do some living!

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