Nineteenth day of Advent: the time will come

December 18, 2014 § Leave a comment

“While they were there, the time came.”

The time came and the time will come.

The time that came was the time for Mary to have her son. The time that will come is the time for God to move, after all our waiting.

This morning, I’m thinking of God coming and when that time will be. I’m tired of waiting.

I don’t really mean this in the literal, God coming to Earth again sort of way. I mean it in the God holding his hand around my heart, offering a solution to the difficulties that weigh me down sort of way.

I read in Luke that, “the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son.”

I’m struck by this. I’m struck and encouraged that the waiting will end. Sometimes, I don’t believe it will. Sometimes, it feels like I’ve been waiting forever. I suppose we’ve been waiting a long time.

But it’s not a bad waiting. It’s a waiting that gives time to grow, just like the baby in Mary.

The Psalmist says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

The time will come.

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Eighteenth day of Advent: a song

December 17, 2014 § Leave a comment

A friend introduced me to The Oh Hellos around this time last year. I’ve rediscovered their Family Christmas Album this season. May I recommend it to you, too?

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Seventeenth day of Advent: signs

December 16, 2014 § 2 Comments

I read that Advent is about waiting in the presence of God, and then looking for signs.

I’m not one to look for signs. Or rather, I want to be one who looks for signs, but as soon as I see something that might be a sign, the small hard voice in my head says, “Puh-lease. There are no such things as signs. Only meaningless garble you organize into signs for your own purpose.”

Sometimes, I think the hard voice is correct.

Is there room in my 21st century life for signs?

*

I think about the star of Bethlehem. I think about the Magi who say, “We saw his star in the east and have come.”

I think about the baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. I think about the angel who says to the shepherds, “This will be a sign to you.”

*

It was nothing, what happened to me last week. Just a fortuitous happening. Just that, the moment I gave up this thing I desire, an opportunity to have it appeared neatly to me, like a crisply wrapped present tied with a bow.

It was nothing, what happened to me this morning. Just an unplanned concurrence. Just that, a verse appeared to me in two minutes in two places I’d never looked before.

*

In Advent, we actively wait for signs.

I’ll share the verse with you, because the verse itself is a sign, a promise, of provision and love:

“My eyes will watch over them for their good…I will build them up and not tear them down: I will plant them and not uproot them.”

Sixteenth day of Advent: reassurance

December 15, 2014 § Leave a comment

Scribbled on a piece of lined paper torn from one of my notebooks and pinned to the gray wall beside my desk are these words: “See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.”

I wrote the words several months ago, when I needed reassurance. Reassurance that it was okay to be waiting. Reassurance that I was all right where I was. I need that reassurance today.

How quickly I forget that waiting is essential to receiving, that waiting is a gift. Yesterday, life seemed extravagant. I was more than content; I was happy. Hope bloomed inside me, lifting me off the ground.

But today is Monday, and I’ve already forgotten the truth that waiting is essential to receiving, that waiting is a gift.

So I need the words my past self penned to my future self, reminding me that everything good comes with a season of waiting. I think of the farmer, who waits for the rain; I think of the artist, who waits for inspiration; I think of Mary, who waits for her Son to be born.

The farmer in the verse has patience – and isn’t that key? Isn’t the proper attitude while waiting patience? Isn’t it when we still our hearts, when we give up control, isn’t that exactly the point when we see most clear?

Yesterday, it rained in Dallas. Today, it’s sunny and brisk. But rain will come again. So will fulfillment. In the meantime, we wait with patience.

Fifteenth day of Advent: rejoice

December 14, 2014 § Leave a comment

Yesterday, I wrapped my first Christmas present; my brother flew in from college for winter break; my family discussed plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; I received a package and a handmade card in the mail.

Can you feel the change? Christmas approaches.

We are more than halfway through Advent, which means our time of waiting nears an end and our expectancy attains even greater heights.

Today, on this third Sunday of Advent, the word we contemplate is: rejoice.

I’m glad that’s the word for today. I’m glad because I’m feeling festive. I’m glad because I’d rather like to splurge on egg nog and bake Christmas cookies (and then eat them all).

I’m glad because I have the pleasure and the honor of saying with Mary, “my spirit rejoices in God my Savior for he has been mindful.”

Fourteenth day of Advent: power and weakness

December 14, 2014 § Leave a comment

I am thinking about power and weakness today.

I am thinking about power and weakness because of that time-worn phrase, money is power. Money equals power. Money equals power equals money, which equals power.

Yes. That mathematical formula makes sense to me.

I am thinking about this formula today because of my car.

My car that I drive to and from work; that I drive on assignment; that faithfully carried me to California and back; that I drive to my friends’ houses on Friday nights; that I drive to Sunday brunch; that I christened John Russell after one of my literary heroes (see Hombre, by Elmore Leonard); that car that I love, is sick. As I told my dad, “John Russell has a stomach ache.”

In other words, he needs a new transmission.

In other words, start emptying the savings account.

I have been saving money in that account for some time. It’s a few dollars here and a few more there, tucked aside for a dream, a deep desire, something I’ve wanted for a long, long time. Emptying it, I can’t help feeling like Carl and Ellie in Up, who can never save enough money for their trip to Paradise Falls because various life expenses keep cropping up. Without the money which is the power, will I ever accomplish the dream?

It’s Advent, so I’m thinking more than usual about the Christmas story, and as I’m thinking about the Christmas story and feeling sad about the loss of the money and the loss of the power and my poor, sick car parked in the driveway outside, my thoughts settle on Herod.

Herod, King of Judaea, is the epitome of power. But Herod, despite his money and his power and his being king of Judaea, is not the main character of the Christmas story. He’s merely there to juxtapose Christ, who’s the main character, and who also happens to be the epitome of weakness.

Christ, born as a vulnerable baby. Christ, born into the weakness of poverty. Christ, who happens to be God, who is all-powerful, made all-weak.

What do I make of this? It certainly doesn’t fit my formula. It makes me pause and think.

Maybe the formula is right. Maybe, having money means having power. Maybe, one way to achieve my dream is to have the money to achieve the dream. Maybe, I won’t ever achieve the dream without the money. Maybe.

But this power only goes so far. This power is broken by the real power, the power that’s so powerful that it can be embodied in the weakest of beings and not be destroyed. This real power eclipses the other power.

Okay, so I’m still a little sad about John Russell and the savings account. Okay, it’s also not the end of the world. Okay, when I think about it a little more, the dream is still attainable. Okay.

But okay, also: I’m reminded that, in the long run, the formula is moot. I’m reminded that, if money equals power, money does not equal real power. Money can play a part in real power, or not; real power trumps all.

I share this story with a friend on the phone today, and she reminds me of a verse. I’ll share it with you, too.

See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the filed, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown in the fire, will he not much more clothe you?

Thirteenth day of Advent: a song

December 12, 2014 § Leave a comment

A song on this thirteenth day of Advent:

O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here until the Son of God appear. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

Twelfth day of Advent: faith and reason

December 11, 2014 § 2 Comments

One of my favorite writers, Madeleine L’Engle (author of A Wrinkle in Time), happens to have written some about Advent. I didn’t know about this until this morning, when I was poking around on the Internet and Google led me here.

A bit more poking around, and I found this lovely, short poem by L’Engle:

This is the irrational season
when love blooms bright and wild.
Had Mary been filled with reason
there’d have been no room for the child.
— Madeleine L’Engle

I’ve been thinking some about faith and reason lately, because of Advent and also because I recently finished The Life of Pi, which addresses their differences and meanings (May I recommend the book to you! And then, may I recommend this review of it?).

I consider myself to be a person of reason. I live in the modern nation of America, after all. I studied philosophy in college. I come from a family of scientific people.

And yet, I agree with L’Engle when she says, “Had Mary been filled with reason there’d have been no room for the child.”

Faith is different from reason, but it’s not unreasonable.

In fact, faith is highly reasonable. We do things out of faith all the time. When we love brightly and wildly, we trust that what we feel isn’t a mere chemical imbalance and that the person or thing that we love actually exists and isn’t a mere figment of our imagination. When we eat, we trust that the food isn’t poisoned. When we step outside in the morning, we trust that gravity won’t reverse and send us floating off the Earth.

It is a good thing we’re filled with faith instead of reason. It’s a good thing Mary was, too.

Reason would have said, “There are no such things as angels. I have never seen one before. People tell me they don’t exist. I must be having a hallucination.”

Reason would also have said, “A virgin can’t have a baby. It’s scientifically impossible. Didn’t you take eighth grade biology?”

I’ll confess to you: Advent makes me uncomfortable because faith makes me uncomfortable because I am a person of reason.

But discomfort is good because it moves me to wrestle with faith and reason. And in this irrational season, when we meditate on the love that formed a baby in a manger to save us from the horrors of this world, wrestling with faith is good. Wrestling with faith is making room for the child, not in the manger, but right here in the center of our hearts.

Eleventh day of Advent: comfort

December 10, 2014 § Leave a comment

“Comfort, comfort my people,” says God. He’s speaking to the prophet Isaiah, telling him to comfort the people of Israel, but he’s also speaking words of comfort to us.

The words settle in my heart. Yes. Yes. That’s what I needed to hear: words of comfort.

How many of the people in my life need to hear these words, too? Sometimes, I hate how lonely the world can be. So many of the people I love are scattered across the country, from the west coast to the eastern shore. I talk to them on Skype; I snapchat them; I Gchat and text them; I email and Facebook message with them. But none of that is ever enough.

A new friend in Dallas tells me that human touch lowers the blood pressure, and I can see why so many people in this country have high blood pressure. So many of us are lonely. So many are weary and unsure about the future, just like I am. So many are tired and cranky and fed up.

“Comfort,” says God.

In some ways, I can’t help feeling like the word is a slap in the face.

“Ok, God, fine. Comfort. Fine. But how exactly are you comforting me, huh? Give me tangible evidence of it. Smooth out these wrinkles, close these rifts. For heaven’s sake, won’t you?”

He does. In time.

In time, the world’s groaning will cease and all will be restored.

That’s the hope we have. That’s the reason behind the words of comfort.

In the meantime, I hold that word in my heart, let it soak into the crusty exterior and warm me from the inside, like a hot drink.

“Comfort,” says God.

“Ok.”

“Comfort my people.”

Tenth day of Advent: fog

December 10, 2014 § Leave a comment

IMG_3462Fog covered Dallas this morning. Driving to work, I couldn’t help but spontaneously stop to take it in, to capture a few poor quality photos on my iPhone. I like the fog. There’s something mysterious and romantic about it. Staring into the gray haze I think, isn’t the fog a little like Advent, a little like our time on Earth? We don’t see clearly now, but we will when the sun shines. In the same way, we don’t understand our selves or our God or our relationship with God now, but we will later.

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12

 

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